I actually have some FAQs now, but the (in)FAQs are still listed below them. If you’d like to ask me a question, email me at kevin (@) kevinhearne dot com.

How many books will be in the Iron Druid Chronicles? 

Right now I’m under contract for six, but I hope to write nine.

Are you Irish?

Guilty. But there are other bits mixed in, so I’m also guilty of being a mongrel.

Will you sign a book for me and send it to Madagascar (or anyplace outside of the U.S.)?

Yep! Contact The Poisoned Pen, an indie bookstore near me. Full details on my Books page.

Do you have an Irish wolfhound?

Nope. Wish I did, but my wee house isn’t the right place for one. I have two wee dogs instead. One is a pug named Manley (after British poet Gerard Manley Hopkins) and the other is a Boston terrier named Sophie (after people named Sophie).

Why can’t you stand meatloaf?

First, let me clarify that we’re talking about the culinary atrocity known as meatloaf, not the performing artist known as Meat Loaf. (I loves me some “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.”) But one time I ate some homemade meatloaf and it made me vomit like an unleashed fire hydrant. It wasn’t fun for anybody, but especially not for my cousin, who was in the way. He doesn’t like meatloaf either. Go figure.

Who was your favorite singer at Black Bart’s Steak House when you worked there?

That’s easy. Brandon Jovanovich. He’s now a professional opera singer, which shows you that I know quality when I hear it. He used to sing this version of “Old Man River” that was so rich I think the sound waves had calories. In fact, I think that’s how I got fat. That song was like vocal chocolate mousse. People have to fork over a Benjamin to hear him sing now, but I got to hear him for free five nights a week during college.

Favorite Tarantino movie?

Oh, that’s a diabolical question. It’s not fair to make me choose. But I’m going to surprise you all and say Death Proof.

What comics do you read regularly?

I read a book called Chew and another called Northlanders. Very different books but the writing is simply top-notch.

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

I carry a small bag of birdseed with me wherever I go. I’ve pretty much trained a flock of mourning doves to sing harmony with me whenever I decide it’s time to break out the Journey. They also keep away the white-winged doves.

What do you have against white-winged doves?

Well, they sing a song, sounds like they’re singing, “Who, baby, who, said who.”

What’s your rock and roll fantasy?

Back in 1990 David Lee Roth put together an amazing band that (in my mind) beat the shit out of Van Halen. Steve Vai on guitar, Billy Sheehan on bass and Greg Bissonette on drums. My fantasy is to sing “Shyboy” live with that lineup. Then I want an autographed picture of the four of us on my wall. I’ll be the short n’ chubby one. Yeah, that would be awesome.

What really grinds your gears?

Mechanics, I guess. I’m sure I’ve met an honest one at some point, but I can’t tell. I always feel they’re ripping me off. That probably means I need therapy…except I’m positive that a therapist would rip me off.

Who are your favorite Sesame Street characters?

The Martians. Yyyyyip–yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip.

You have five bucks and you’re on Beaver Street in Flagstaff. What do you do?

I go to Macy’s European Coffee House. Their coffee is awesome and the people are super cool. I seriously love that place.

ERICK in the great northwest asks: Will there be a naked Morrigan action figure?

Right now there are no plans for any action figures, clothed or otherwise. However, a simulated Morrigan action figure should be easy to achieve in three easy steps! 1) Take off all the clothes on a doll with black hair. 2) Paint the skin white. 3) Paint lips, nips, and eyes red. Bam! Instant Morrigan! If you plan any action with said figure, however, please feel free NOT to tell me about it.